Last Shabbat I stayed in Petach-Tikva, both my parents and in-laws live there, a mere 5 minute walk. Being the officially hottest summer ever registered, and the hottest days in this unbearable summer, it indeed was a heavy decision where to eat each meal.
Harder than going around in the boiling heat with a Tallit and carriage is the “in between” feeling. As it says in Genesis, “A man shall leave his father and mother and unite with his wife and become as one flesh”, after the great excitement of the wedding, after two years+ of marriage I can declare that indeed you leave a family behind. Leaving one home behind, you gamble on building a new one, but that requires a great deal of work, and time. In the meanwhile your pretty much on your own.
It really fell on me when Shabbat departed, when we went to my parents to celebrate my Mom’s Birthday, and we discovered the family was ready to go to a restaurant for that very celebration. It struck me as absolutely amazing that we wouldn’t even have known about everyone celebrating, if we haven’t happened to drop by.
Though I now understand there was no reason to tell us, since there was no room in the car for us anyway, why should we be told were left out? Still the fact that my family was fully functioning without me, had it’s effect nevertheless.
Part of the price we pay for growing up and earning independence, is the other side of independence- having less of a backing, needing to stand on our own legs even if we are still too weak.
I feel that is the meaning of the Rabbi’s choice of Wisdom over Prophecy, after the destruction of the Temple. Even though growing into our own Wisdom instead of leaning into G-d’s loving hands weakens our stand. Cutting the strands of Prophecy lets us truly grow from the hardships, strengthen our personal stand.
Just as we pray and prepare for the return of Prophecy, I pray for the return of my family of childhood. Just as we prepare for such a Prophecy that will enhance and be enhanced by Wisdom, I try grasping such a way of seeing it all as a process for the greater good, by the will of G-d.
First of all, I'm sorry & I was sorry motzei shabbat when you came by and we couldn't take you with us. I know it turned out that way but I feel that the reason was opposite. Since you are your own unit, with your own schedules, as an independent family, we didn't think whether you are available or not. It was assumed that you have plans of some sort. You should also know that it wasn't organize or something planned from before.. we just decided to get up and go spontaneously.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, it's not your family that's functioning "without you". We're all grown and living our "own" lives.
What I learn from this is that even when people are on their own - you/me or anyone of us, we should still try to think of the others and include them in our plans.
& again. I'm really sorry.
thank u for the apology. i understood most of these things whenwriting this, but i still had some thinking process going on whith this output. im not mad at u or anything, im just missing being part of a bigger unit, and having to behave as a small independent one.
ReplyDeletethank u anyway!