This blog may seem to have no connection with things I wrote before, but after a hurt discussion held today in the Yeshiva (Rabbinical College) I learn in, I feel compelled to express myself.
In my short visit to Lincoln NE USA I met, for the very first time of my life, a thriving Reform and Conservative community in flesh. Many new things were revealed to me, especially in the long talks I had with Rabbi Ilan (Reform) and Layleader Nancy (Conservative). In short I had a lot rethinking to do in that short time, trying to truly understand this way of Jewish life, so different from the Orthodox way I was raised.
Surprisingly, I found out there were great similarities, many more than I could imagine, and I grew to understand more the difficult dilemmas facing modern Jewish communities in the Diaspora. I left the US feeling that much can be done to bring Orthodox Jewry to a more understanding position relating these movements. I felt much of the disagreements are exaggerated because these communities don’t actually meet, and don’t know much about each other. I decided I’ll do my best as an ambassador of good will, and spread understanding to strengthen the inner bonds of our small nation. This blog, in it’s little way, is a part of this effort.
Today I got a big reminder things weren’t that simple, and changing the world, after all, isn’t such an easy task. I brought to the Yeshiva the beautiful Reform Siddur I received as a parting gift from the Rabbi, with the intention of preparing myself for the upcoming holiday, learning the commentary, translations and alternative readings. Some friends peeked in, asked questions, and I found myself in the center of an attack, being asked- how can I find common ground with the Reform basic Jewish outlook, since it contradicts the very basis of Judaism (of course as the Orthodox see it)? I discovered, painfully, that me finding beauty in these communities was based on that my Jewish perspective has journeyed far away from the customized view, rendering me irrelevant.
My Orthodox behavioral code identifies me with this community, while I find myself growing strange to it’s theological concepts, having a lot in common with more modern thinking. I am a medium between these worlds, trying to understand both, truly belonging in neither.
These coming Yom-Kippur and Sukkoth are great opportunities of renewal and meaning, I pray to G-d for guidance, and for a fellow friend on this lonely Journey to the Divine. May we all have a sweet and blessed year, fruitful and filled with compassion and love for all.
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I hear you.
ReplyDeleteIf that's any consolation..
it actually is. thank u!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that our conversations (and the siddur I gave you) may have led you to conflict with your community. I would argue that the problem is not Orthodox Judaism, but as is so often the case, that human beings are imperfect vessels of the ideals they claim to hold. Judaism is a religion based on struggle and facing challenges. You have chosen to face the challenges that modern thought presents. It is sad that many of your contemporaries feel they must avoid these challenges in order to stay true to themselves. I have known many Orthodox Jews who are able to open their minds without losing their commitment to traditional Jewish practice and belief even a little. You are not alone.
ReplyDeleteShanah Tovah, Ilan
thank u for all the support. i sure dont think any side is to blame, i think both side truly disagree, and most are just not knowledgable enougj. too bad. i call out to whoever feels the gap is bridgable to do all they can, before disaster strikes. what actions can we take?
ReplyDelete