For a few years I've been noticing an interesting phenomena, the loneliness of thinking. I'm not referring only to revolutionary thinkers, but to everyday simpletons (as myself) that have decided to think for themselves as opposed to letting others command this critical function for them. Up until recently, I've been disturbed by this, and tried to defy this Great Law by depending on a Rabbi , society or different schools of thought (all these - living or dead) and failing quite utterly and miserably. I've found myself struggling to "fit in" somewhere, to feel someone "has my back", in vain.
It took me quite some time to realize there are some positive points in this reality, and to learn to accept and adapt myself to this "loner" perception of life. Somewhat like the famous quotation of Pirkey Avot (Ethics of the Fathers [hail wikipedia!]) "אם אין אני לי מי לי", basically meaning- I have no one but myself. Of course this segment can be translated and understood in many ways, but the bottom line is that we are born, live and die with ourselves, and have only ourselves to draw true judgment upon our conduct.
That is where I draw the term of "Intimacy", which replaced what I defined as "Loneliness". Wiktionary defines this term as meaning - feeling or atmosphere of closeness and openness towards someone else, antonymous to "Solitude". Now, that is a much more optimistic view, and it adds this "someone else", which I interpret as God, which is also with me always. Thus, I'm no longer alone, yet in continuous solitude. God, as much as some people would like to have me believe otherwise, is more of an idea. A great one, as Muslims would put it, but still pretty much a limited one.
Nevertheless, I have found this idea "rings a bell" in many hearts, and it may seem I have found my community (even if the most divided crisis-filled one ever) at last.
As usual (?), comments are most welcome.
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